The Struggle is Real

I just realized that today is actually Christ’s Birthday. I believe that fact was reviled through revelation, or maybe it was just by historical research. Anyway, MERRY CHRISTMAS! May the Spirit of Christ bless you and your families all year!

I was going through my morning routine with baby J and was getting a little frazzled with the extra things I have taken on this week. I have been planning a Harry Potter Murder Mystery Dinner for about a month and have gone crazy making things so it will be totally epic. It’s only a few days away and I’ve already started decorating the house.

I turned on one of J’s favorite shows and let him have free reign of the main living area while I worked. But as it so often happens, J needed a diaper change. I pressed pause on the TV, and carried J off to the bathroom for a change, bath, and then put him down for a morning nap. If you’ve ever taken care a baby, you will understand just how much work is involved.

J twisted and turned while I struggled to clean up his poopy bum. In the bath he got bubbles on his nose and mouth which caused him to panic. He began thrashing around, creating more bubbles and causing him to slip into the water twice. (Before you think I’m negligent, this all happened in a matter of 1 second.) I pulled him out and wiped his face. After another struggled to dry him off, diaper and clothe him while he again wiggled and squirmed, I finally put him in his crib for a nap.

While the proceeding process only took 20 minutes, it was an exhausting 20 minutes. I trudged back into the living room, grumbling about how difficult J can be at times. Why was he so difficult? Why does he fight me on every step?

I sat down on the couch and looked at the TV. Still on the screen was J’s show, paused with the closed captioning on. It was a picture of a fish who was saying, “I could have done that if I wasn’t stuck.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “No, little fish,” I said to the screen. “You may be able to keep his attention once in a while, but somethings just need to be done by Mommy.”

That one instance changed my entire attitude. I have chosen to be a Mother and a stay at home mom (SAHM). Sure, I could get a job and put J in daycare but that is not what I want for my family. It may be difficult and he will continue to fight me for the next 17 years. I will love him the entire time and continue to fight for his best interest.

Back to Work

Back in January, M had an accident at work. While the accident itself and resulting concussion were not serious, it caused an unfortunate side effect and M was left stuttering and stammering with every word he spoke. We spent three weeks going to doctors, having CT and MRI scans performed, talking with HR representatives, and just trying to figure out what was going on. The entire time M was off on Worker's Comp. leave because he could not perform his duties as a sale's representative.

A month after the accident we were sent to a neuro-specialist at the U of U. After a quick examination we were finally able to understand what had happened to M's speech. It's a rare anomaly called Conversion. Essentially, when the brain is injured it immediately starts to repair the damage. In conversion, the brain will re-route the damaged area through non-damaged areas. In M's case, the blow was to the crown of his head, but the re-routing happened to go through his speech processing area causing him to stutter and stammer.  M was sent to speech therapy for a month.

Now, two and a half months after the accident, M is finally able to return to work part-time. The neuro-specialist and HR reps. were reluctant to have him start working again because he still stutters and stammers when highly stressed, and his job can be highly stressful at times. However, M is determined to go back to work and forget this ever happened. He has been want to forget it since it happened back in January and is excited to go back to work.

I will say, it will be nice to have a larger paycheck coming in. Worker's comp. insurance does pay for his time at home, but it is only 66% of his salary. Things have been a bit tight. Other than the money, I have enjoyed spending so much time with M and having him help with J.

M and J have developed a routine that will be very difficult for J to loose when M is gone. Whenever it is time for J to sleep, naps and bedtime, he will fall asleep on or next to M. It has gotten to the point that J will not go to sleep unless M or I, usually M, are laying down with him. It's cute, but I do not look forward to crying that will ensue when M is not home...

10 Questions Every Mother Asks

For the past 10 months I have been a SAHM. I love it. It is hard and can be extremely frustrating, but it is the best job I’ve ever had. From time to time I find myself asking questions. Some are repetitive and some are just downright funny. Here is a list of my favorites.

1. Can’t I have five minutes to myself? And not in the bathroom.

2. Do we really need to watch this again? ‘Nough said.

3. How did you do that? These things don’t happen if I start pounding on the keyboard. I’ve been trying to figure out how to do that for months.

4. Where did you find that? I didn’t even know we had one of those.

5. Why do you cry every time I go into the bathroom? You’ve ignored me for the past hour, why do you suddenly need me?

6. Why is there peanut butter in my ear? I can understand it being in your ear, but why mine?

7. Why won’t you take a nap if you’re tired? You know you’re tired. I know you’re tired. The neighbors across the street know you’re tired. Just go to sleep!

8. You’re ten months old, how can you destroy the entire room so quickly? I literally just finished picking up after you and now it’s a mess… again.

9. You’ve done it by yourself 50 times in a row, why do you suddenly need my help? Fine, I will help you.

10. How can you cause so much frustration and still be so cute that I forgive you as soon as you smile? I can’t resist that adorable smile!